Personal

A Womanly Rant

I walked out.

Took my bag, my laptop, my phone, and headphones.

I reached for the door.

He asked me, “Where are you going?”

Starbucks, I said and closed the door behind me without looking back.

I walked past through Starbucks and not even sure where am I heading. All I know is that I just don’t want to go home. I just wanted to be away.

The thing is I hated the idea of going out. I hated the idea of socializing to other human being. I am more comfortable on my own. I am easily irritated with the noise that they make. Just the idea that I need to sit or stand in a corner with people that I do not know or I do not care about. I would prefer staying at home in my own bed, comfortably reading a book or perhaps watching something in the telly.

I know, not everyone understand my kind of comfort.

He was not in the mood I can tell. After watching a documentary about Star Trek which was not my idea after watching the series and movies for almost a week consecutively. I am not tired yet, I still wanted to write or read the book that he recommended. He asked me to go to bed but I said no. He said I can read on my phone in bed which I did just to end the conversation however after some minutes he asked me to turn it off. I stood up and was heading downstairs to do my thing but he stopped me.

“I didn’t go out, I will sleep early because of you.” He said and I thought it is going to be a long night indeed.

I knew he was bored when we got home. I got frustrated because there’s nothing that I suggest that he liked. I found out that he tried to message his friend but his friend did not respond. So I thought, okay let’s watch that Star Trek documentary. Was it really my fault?

I walked out.

Took my bag, my laptop, my phone, and headphones.

I reached for the door.

He asked me, “Where are you going?”

Starbucks, I said and closed the door behind me without looking back.

I ended up having a regular chocolate drink in Coffee Bean. They are not going to give you their wifi password unless you have their card. Ha! I usually have breakfast in the same shop every Sunday. But I did not insist any longer. I requested for a warm chocolate drink because I do not drink hot drinks, yet they gave me a boiling hot drink. Such a treat! Of course I am not going to say anything because I am already frustrated. It is 2330H and there’s a baby in a coffee shop crying. What a night.

I took out my phone and put the volume up, listening to “Don’t Let Me Down”. I can still hear the baby wailing, adding up to my frustration.

I will hate the idea that I had to leave the apartment at 11pm for a boiling hot chocolate, for a crying baby, for people sitting next to me reading what I am writing, and for all the reasons. But as much as you wanted to compromise, there will be a time that you just needed to walk out because it is needed, because you needed time and space away from potential long argument.

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